Fa aina tadzhabun?

Where will you go? Being an adult is something, but it has many things that make you worried. I’m amid of intersection.

I try to pamper myself that everything is just fine and will be alright. I keep thinking positively and enjoy my life. But, still I can’t bear it. I am scared to face life. I’m thinking about my future life, about my after life. If I keep being like this. What will I be? What will I gain? Will there any help when I go through that alone? Do I need companions for my life? Surely, I envy with people who have devoted children who can be treasure for their life. They will help their parents in after life. So, what do I have? I only have myself to stand for me. I know my deeds are not enogh. My only hope is Allah’ blessing for me. Yes, in the end I only need Allah’s help.

This world is not always kind. I can draw my self from bad people, but how long I can do that? Fighting alone. Lately, it’s hard for me to deal with people. Different perspective has different argument and goal. I can tolerate people for some reasons but I can be intolerant for other reasons. Not all people can handle you. Why should they handle you? We just need to respect each other. This is our attitude problem in social life. We cannot place things right. Losing consideration for dignity and respect.

When I meet people, the one thing I especially want to know about them is: are they authoritarian or egalitarian? This is the important thing. I’m an egalitarian person. So, sometimes I can’t get along with authoritarian persons. I can’t be handled as they want. I have my own perspective and try to respect others for what they have. It also goes for friendship and relationship. I will be with someone who has respect for others. That’s why make friends and relations are a little bit hard. I think becoming just an acquaintance is enough for me. Social life is inevitable. You can’t hide and run from that. I just want to say that finding the people who are typically you is not easy. Taking a distance is good but escaping from reality is impossible. Is this what millenials face now? I just realize that I’m a millenial who is surrounded by baby boomers and gen X people. Ah, why my problem getting worse than I thought before? Not all millenials are open minded, sometimes they imitate their older companions and becoming the same. I scrutinize my social life too close. Perhaps, I need to take a vacation and leave them a moment.

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