I always talk to my heart every day. I ask questions and give answers. This is my daily activity. I construct my mind and heart every day so that they stay sane and calm. Yes, they should be like that. I hate it when they turn to contradict each other and I have to end tortured.
My heart keeps searching its mate. Sometimes my radar can find and feel it. After that, I feel afraid. I’m afraid I was wrong and expect too much. Then, I will try to pamper my heart that I shouldn’t be too hasty. I ask God to guide my heart since I don’t know what it really wants and needs. Sometimes I cried many nights to convince my self not to hurry and hope God will tie my heart to its real mate. Yes, sometimes I found it, but then I was wrong. I found it again, and feel afraid and hesitate. I’m a little coward who try to deny my feeling and afraid to be dumped. I’m not that strong woman, right? Haha. This is stupid and random. What I did in the end is to calm my self and not to hurry. I’m afraid I was wrong and if it’s just me who feel and want it. Again, I ask God to guide my heart and let my self be calm. I keep searching and hoping. I don’t know when I have to stop.
You know, I’m not good in telling a story about heart and feeling. I don’t have many vocabularies about it. Because the thing I know is only the word “love”. *I’m a romantic badass! 😄
Sorry. This story is real but I don’t know why I write it like a trash. 😅